The aspect of my psyche that is the dominant source of anxiety, sadness and inadequacy is my attachment to taking into consideration of what other people will think of me when I make a decision. All my life I have been afraid of rejection by other people. My tact has been to avoid giving others the opportunity to neither reject nor accept me. I am quiet and shy, so do not give others much insight into who I am. This attachment to what others will think of me is a strong way I hide myself from others. But, it is a shackle on my spirit that binds me from acting according to my own values.
I make my decisions with a very strong weight on imagining how others will judge me based on the outcome of the decision rather than weighing the consequences solely on my values. It is a life long practice of entangling my beliefs of what others will think of me with my own true values. My task now is to disentangle them so I may be free to be me.
Lord, I know you wish for my freedom and will be behind me and support me and Love me regardless of the decisions I make and you will rejoice in my freedom and the creative spirit and the Love that will arise from it.
Amen.
Lovely thoughts....
ReplyDeleteI believe everyone has strong underlying characteristics that comprise our being. We use these to create ourselves. As we understand the strengths and weaknesses that come with each of these characteristics, only then can we make full use of them. First step is accepting the characteristics you have. Second step is using them to be a better person.
You have support, you only need to look around you. :-)