God Will Rejoice and Love

The aspect of my psyche that is the dominant source of anxiety, sadness and inadequacy is my attachment to taking into consideration of what other people will think of me when I make a decision.  All my life I have been afraid of rejection by other people.  My tact has been to avoid giving others the opportunity to neither reject nor accept me.  I am quiet and shy, so do not give others much insight into who I am. This attachment to what others will think of me is a strong way I hide myself from others.  But, it is a shackle on my spirit that binds me from acting according to my own values. 

I make my decisions with a very strong weight on imagining how others will judge me based on the outcome of the decision rather than weighing the consequences solely on my values.  It is a life long practice of entangling my beliefs of what others will think of me with my own true values. My task now is to disentangle them so I may be free to be me.

Lord, I know you wish for my freedom and will be behind me and support me and Love me regardless of the decisions I make and you will rejoice in my freedom and the creative spirit and the Love that will arise from it.

Amen.

Call to Love for Peace

Each of us is created by God for the purpose of being a Loving person.  Though I fail all too often at that and don't consistently live up to it very well or often enough, I do feel blessed and privileged to be called to try to be a Loving person and be an example for others with the hope that I may touch others enough to influence them to be even the slightest bit more Loving and, hence, to spread more peace among us.  Of course, it should be far from me to behave in a way that indicates that I am explicitly acting in a Loving manner for people to explicitly notice that my behavior is an example of Love to emulate. It isn't that at all. It is my calling simply to live in a Loving manner to spread peace.

Desire that Another May Have Peace

I’ve sidetracked my focus on Love to the things one does when they Love. They desire the well-being of another, help to ease their burdens, help them to grow, and accept as them as they are for who they are. I’ve turned it around to thinking that doing those things is Love. That has been my moment of doubt, of disconnect. Those things can always be done without Love. But, where there is Love, they will flow. Try as I might, even though I have a clear emotional picture, I cannot adequately put Love into words. The best I can do right now is that Love is a fully unconditional desire that another may have peace.

Your Love Is Always Within

Lord, I've not written in awhile, but I've never left because I always feel you within me.  My spirit is filled with your Love because you made me that way.  I may not always let that Love shine forth, but I know it is always there.  That is what sustains me, the knowledge that no matter what ugliness I may have that covers up your Love, I know that your Love will prevail and my bitterness will always eventually be washed away by your Love.  May my spirit grow in your Love so that my times of bitterness will decrease ever being more and more replaced with times of Love and joy.  I pray in your spirit forever and ever. Amen.

John

I go along fine keeping busy, and, so, the pain is buried, though I can sense it is there. But, then, I think of you and feel a stab because I can't post something to share, something for you to respond with your warmth and kindness, I can't ponder a trip to Tucson to visit and share time again and hear you play. I want the pain to pass. I want to think and do other things, so I won't be reminded of losing you. But, without that pain, will I forget you and your words that inspire Love and compassion? I don't want to forget and allow the loss to be complete. How can I remember without the pain?

Lord, thank you for the Love you have placed in my heart. Your Love sustains me as I am grieving John's passing. May he live eternally through each and everyone of us. I pray that I will sustain his spirit of Love in my heart enriched by his presence in my life. John, I am proud to carry on your spirit and pray that I will never lose the warmth of kindness and Love you planted into my heart and soul. I will be grateful forever and a day. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of Johann. Amen.

Just

Just stop what you are doing.
Just look within your heart.
Just realize you'll find,
Just the thing you're looking for.
Just believe it's all you'll need.
Just know it is unceasing.
Just Love without care.
Just accept and peace will never end.

The End of the Beginning

(a letter to the pastor and nun of my former parish) Dear Father and Sister, I have been on a spiritual journey for many years now, and through much prayer and discernment, by the grace of Christ and God, they have taught me that no faith is anymore right or wrong than any other. I have learned that my calling is to live a life centered and focused on unconditional Love. To do that, I am called to stand apart from the community of any faith and to hold no allegiance to any particular faith. Since coming to this realization of my spirituality, I have never felt such joy, peace and belonging in communion with God. I know with confidence that it is the calling He intends for me. I respectfully ask that you have myself and family removed from the Sacred Heart registry and mailing lists to honor this realization of my spiritual calling. The years I have been with Sacred Heart have been enriching and a deep source of spiritual affirmation of God’s Love. For that, I am truly grateful to the service you have given to my relationship with God. I have shared the state of my spirituality with our choir director and discussed with her my participation in the adult contemporary choir. The choir has been a fountain of inspiration and an enriching opportunity for spiritual expression. She is agreeable to my continued participation to contribute to the prayerful music of the choir while affording me the opportunity for creative expression of my spirituality. With your blessing, I will continue to participate. May the peace of Christ always remain with you and Sacred Heart. Respectfully with grace and the Love of Christ in my heart, Tommy Augustine

What Love Is

May I recognize what I can do for the well-being, to ease the burdens of others, to help them grow and always accept them as they are for who they are.

Steadfast

Today, I had some doubt about my recent choice to leave my former faith community. I recalled what I truly believed and could reaffirm a basic tenet of my faith which is that all people have equally legitimate rights to their own beliefs. That goes for myself as well. Reaching deep within to what I logical know to be my beliefs brings me back to what I believe within my spirit. God's Love is my strength and will always be the center of my faith.

Love and Friendship

Lord, thank you for Love, unconditional Love. It is a reference about which I can always find a grounding. Thank you for placing me to be able to help a special friend. I hope and pray that they will have the courage, strength, and patience to persevere to find the peace that is within them. Amen.

I Am Reaffirmed in My Calling to Love Above All Else

I should remember for myself that what I believe I know to be right for myself. If learned people, family, my closest friends believe differently, that is okay. I don't subscribe that they are wrong if they believe differently, nor, more importantly, that if I believe differently, then I am wrong. I must be ready to accept that they may believe I am wrong. If I let that rejection sway me, then I will return to the strife that was within me before. The peace I've had has been joyful and ecstatic, living a life with unconditional Love for others and for myself. I cannot thrive as member of any community where Love is not paramount, where Love is not actively cherished above any other ideology, dogma, or canon. Today, Lord, I reaffirm your calling me to Love. Amen.

All Are Special

Tonight I'm here to remind myself, or rather, contemplate Love to affirm Love in my spirit. Thank you Lord for showing me Love, for allowing me to see it. I don't believe in anyone being special, so I can't believe I am special in knowing Love. Ah, yet, it's not fundamental truth I have learned. I have come to learn about myself, about who I am. Not about anything I can know applies to others. If I have a mission, it is to share what I know about myself for others to judge if that applies to their life experience. Only others can judge what is true for and about themselves. I am special because I am different from everyone else. But, so is everyone else. All of us on this planet are special. Thank you, Lord. Amen.